I think I'm getting a divorce and it's not a good moment - September 2024 Babies | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

That’s really hard, have you tried couples counselling? What have you tried to make it work? Has he been this way since kid 1? Or is this a recent thing since he stopped drinking? I’m dating a recovering addict and I know at first while he stopped it was really hard on our relationship as he was trying to find himself and focused all his time and energy on his recovery…

that sounds so incredibly difficult and I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I would take a few moments to look back and remember *why* you married him. *why* you felt attraction to him. when was the first moment you realised you liked him more than a friend? think about all the good memories that you have together. do these outweigh all the struggles? are you BOTH willing to try to get to a good point in your relationship again?

I would highly suggest couples counselling but you should definitely try to talk one on one in the meantime. maybe you both need some time apart? it's not fair to you for your emotions to be neglected. since he has recently quit drinking, it is probably super hard on him, though that is no excuse for the way he is treating you. and he probably knows that. it sounds like you may have created a safe space for him to speak to you, but is there anything else that could be stopping him from sharing how he feels?

it seems emotions are very high from both of you right now. if you can't work through this, then I think a conversation about permanent separation (divorce) would be the next step.

he clearly needs to work on himself and used alcohol to avoid doing that for a very long time. you did not and do not deserve to be treated the way he is treating you. he needs to open his eyes and realise that the amount of hurt he is giving you is only pushing you away and it's not going to be able to be fixed if it continues. I wish you the best, mama. no matter what happens, it will all work out ❤️

This sounds an awful lot like love bombing … but this is something you would have to check and confirm yourself. I’m sorry you’re going through this, no one should be treated that way.

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/what-is-love-bombing

Sorry to hear this. It sounds a lot like my situation in some ways. Like the frustration and not giving me time.

Sounds like you do a lot for him. Taking his shoes off and cutting his nails is a bit strange and a bit of a red flag for me. Between that and the alcohol problem and the way he treats you sounds like there is potential narcissistic personality disorder. The real kind. I would also question if it's possible he has NPD and the fact that he's been distant is it possible he's cheating? Sometimes people with NPD have a tendency of cheating. I don't think it's fair you're giving so much and not receiving. If he's not willing to give you time etc you need to stop giving so much to him.

Girl, please stop doing so much for this man. He does not respect you. He’s walking all over you. You are better than being a doormat. You’ve been babying the hell out of him and he doesn’t deserve any of it. Have some dignity! Do this nice stuff for YOURSELF!

You should watch The First Wives Club and Diary of a Mad Black Woman, get some fire under your ass, and show him where the door is. F him. Losing this man is NOT a loss.